I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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