i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
one might say we're banned from that church
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
