She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
