you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
