she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
