I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
