i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
