East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
People in love make me want to vomit
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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