help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
