So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
