ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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