I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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