Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
they're like a gay fantastic four
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
