His pubic hair was longer than his dick
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
