Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
