he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
