At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize