what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
