Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
