No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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