the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
being pregnant is like rehab
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
