He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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