i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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