I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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