I think my vagina is haunted
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
