Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
