I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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