We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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