If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
