Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize