Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
