I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
