i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize