Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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