They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
