some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
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