you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
