no, he came in my armpit
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
