I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
