he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
