i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
