This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
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I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
