yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
