....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
