Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
