the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
