i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
