okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
