Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I smell stomach acid.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
