Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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