I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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