i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm both gender and math confused
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
