you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
