This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
