Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
