So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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