Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
