So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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