i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize