Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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