you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Text me some of your sweat
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
