FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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