I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize