Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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