Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
