her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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