I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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