i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Randomize
