All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Houston, we have a blender
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
