i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
