After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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