you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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